The Fear Of Failure

I like to describe myself as a 'lazy perfectionist', which is just a nice way to say, that I won't even start something, when there's even the possibility that I won't like the results.

And I mean that's fine, when we're talking about baking a cake for example, but when we're talking about important things, like applying to universities, it's a completely different thing.


Basically, it stops your life. You can't move forward at all and you can't think of anything else to do - because if you don't even try applying to universities, that's a failure as well.
So yes, I applied to unis in the end, I got rejected by most of them (more importantly the one i REALLY wanted to go to), and now I'm afraid of trying again.

But that's the thing: Trying is NEVER a failure. Because as long as you keep going and pushing and moving (*insert dirty joke here*) you're not doing anything wrong, you're not failing.
And I'm not saying that giving up is a failure, because you get smarter, maybe you learn things along the way and realize that doing something else might be better.

I think people who don't fear failure are the happiest people, because honestly, what's the worst that can even happen to them, they fail?

I'll probably go to a uni that wasn't my first choice, but I'll keep trying to get into the one I want to get in. No matter how often I fail.

----------------------------------

Post after the post:

Sorry for this very random rant/monologue thingie. I feel like writing things like that down gives the decisions I make more gravity, and maybe someone else can find them helpful on the way. I'll post more often again. I have to get over my need to please, and just do this here for me. I mean most people won't find this interesting, and that's totally fine! Still, your thoughts on the matter would be greatly appreciated!